Falling in love — the arena of poets and songwriters.
And also, it turns out, the arena of scientists!
Research on attachment is increasingly making clear that experiences during our early childhoods leaves lasting consequences.
One of those outcomes is the way in which we experienced love in adulthood.
To maintain a reasonably happy relationship, we need to be able to manage emotional closeness as well as distance. We need to be able to separate and also reunite.
When two people part in the morning, they need to be able to disconnect, and at the end of the day, to reconnect so that they continue to feel special in each other’s lives.
Some couples can manage connection and disconnection more easily than others. If you’ve been confused about some of your partner’s behaviour, seeing it as related to attachment gives you a new handle as to what might be happening.
For more insights into romance, see our longer article on the science of connection.